So I’ve been trying to finish this never ending chapter about the environment and all it has to do with our precious health.
I must say, it’s quite a dry topic. (I didn’t even see that pun coming!)
Needless to say, my mind drifted away to farther lands a little too often.
How the sentence was written: Workers must be instructed to wear protective equipment like ear muffs to protect themselves from noise induced hearing loss.
How I read it: Workers must be instructed to wear protective muffins to protect themselves from noise induced hearing loss.
Yeah, well, I was hungry. Now that I think of it, the idea of wearing muffins in my ear quite appealed to me. I’d smell like vanilla all day and there’s always that muffin to eat in case I feel particularly dizzy because I didn’t have the time to eat my breakfast.
But then again, there’s the problem of having flies and all other sorts of flora trying to establish their territory in and around my ear. Now that’s not a pretty sight. Or a feeling. Yuck.
So, problem#1 avoid repeating sentences and making the chapters unduly long.
This is a serious problem!
Most of the chapters I read are written as follows:
There is a house next to my neighbours house which has a garden and that garden has green grass upon which, with gentle hooves stood a majestic horse named Mary. Mary was a beautiful horse and helped the owner get from his house to his work.
But, Mary died.
She’s not of importance in the current scenario. It’s the cow that is more important as it’s the main source of livelihood for the owner and his family.
WHY DID YOU MENTION THE HORSE AND WASTE FIVE MINUTES OF MY PRECIOUS LIFE WHERE I TRIED TO USE MY IMAGINATION TO PICTURE, WITH THE USE OF YOUR WONDERFUL IMAGERY, THE BEAUTIFUL HORSE THAT SEEMED TO BE SO IMPORTANT!!!
This is the thing that frustrates me most about any textbook.
This was how it should have been:
Two houses away from mine, there lived a man who owned a cow and that was the source of his income.
Cause, I gave importance to the point where it was mentioned that the horse was UNIMPORTANT.
Moving on, problem#2
See, I have nothing against scientists and their busy lives. But, I do have a problem with the way they name things.
So I was reading about a tumour in the nose which instead of growing outwards, just grows inwards into your nasal walls. Viola! They called it inverted papilloma. Which was understandable. However, they didn’t stop there. They gave it ALTERNATE names, which in itself is a huge problem.
Imagine if each person in your life had a few alternate names and we were expected to know each one of them?
Now, it would make sense if the name was in some way related to the person in question.
Was that the case with the tumour?
*slowly shakes head in disapproval*
Was the name at least easy to remember?
*slowly shakes head in disapproval*
I WAS HAPPY UNTIL THE NAMES STARTED GETTING TOUGHER LIKE, DINGDONG-KUSHWISH-BOWSKY BADAMBUM tumour.
The names are partly why patients fear cancer more than death. Hell, I tremble to just read about it.
This problem is not just in the medical filed but everywhere.
It’s good to keep tabs on natural disasters so you can prevent it next time. But what is the logical reason behind naming these after some ladies or gentlemen when all I needed to know was where and when it occurred?!
People came up to me one day and asked if I had seen Katrina.
I said yeah of course! She is so flexible and I loved her performance this time!
Little did I know we were talking about two different katrinas. They, about the cyclone and I about the Bollywood actress.
That’s what happens when you name things after people. I would have understood if you said cyclone on so and so date and time and in a certain place.
I assume that would be hard for some. Students! I feel your pain!
Me during the exam trying to write as much as possible with only few minutes left: The horse named Mary was beautiful and it lived in the house next to me neighbour’s. It was sad that it died but the family managed to get a cow that was the source of their livelihood.
The teacher, after correcting my paper and deducting marks for the following reasons:
Child, how could I give you full marks when you didn’t mention the green grass and the gentle hooves!
Also, you should have drawn a diagram. It’s more explanatory dear!
Right. SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. I am given a total of three hours to write a hundred stories about a thousand horses when they aren’t even the main characters and then I’m supposed to write about them like Jack draws one of his French girls. Huh. And just in case the teachers still fail to fathom my understanding of the lessons, I need to diagrammatically put my point across.
Is that enough? Maybe next time I should add in things like “refer to page 143 book 3 of pathology” and masterpieces like “call me for further information, I always have more than I show”.
Education is starting to become more illogical by the day.
Nevertheless, my dear friends, we’ll get through this. If books are smart, we’re smarter. Keep that in mind.