The sorry nutcase 

We all have that one best friend or anyone for that matter, in our lives who just cannot let a sentence be sans a sorry. Not quite surprisingly, I have one in my life and lying here, clearly drowning in boredom, I figured I had nothing better to do but to rant about this particular tic crazed best friend that I have. 
You heard me right, she has the sorry tic. Don’t get me wrong, I love her like a sister but ever so often(every second of my life) she decides to make up these little situations in her head which involve me being eternally upset about something that she did. 
Of course, I make a living out of being upset. Let me give you a little anecdote, this was the last time we were in some food store buying some, well, food. All was rainbows and butterflies until she picked up the brand of ice cream I usually don’t take, but don’t mind either and said, “Umm no offence dude, am sorry but I just like this one better” I nodded casually and shrugged it off because I could care less about what brand of chocolate ice cream I am going to devour because at the end of the day, let’s face it, it’s still chocolate ice cream.
The image in her head:

Oh crap, I think I have just hurt her feelings by choosing the wrong brand, I can see it in her eyes, she did that violent twitch which she does when she’s mad. Maybe I should just take the one she prefers, but then I won’t like it and the whole me having guest privileges will pretty much go to waste. No, I will not let her break down in tears in front of me, I just can’t. I need to sort this out because today it will be ice cream, tomorrow her baked cookies and later I’ll upset her about God knows what and she’ll leave me all alone and I will probably weep till my eyes are out of tears. She is my best friend.

*forms solid plan in her head*
She slowly walks up to me while we are at the counter waiting for our turn to get the thing billed and let me tell you, this girl has the most genuinely sorry expression that will make you feel like you are the reason for the poverty in Africa and that miserable feeling my friends, is slightly hard to shake off. Maybe I underplayed it with the “slightly” there but am hoping you got my drift. “hey I know you are mad at me and am sorry!!” she said and before I could even act confused, the missile was fired again, “no don’t lie, I know you ARE mad and I know you really liked that ice cream but please don’t ditch me I swear to god I would have exchanged the ice cream without thought if the tastes weren’t a thousand skies apart. Please, just please don’t hold this against me…”

I am still standing there in utter bewilderment as to how she just made up this whole situation in her head. “Dude I don’t really care, you don’t have to..” 

Hold your horses, fasten your seat belts and just stay put alright because the apologies were still rolling in full force, “I shouldn’t have come today to lunch, then I wouldn’t have had the choice to pick the flavour and OH HAIL MARY (because the theatrics are a must) now you won’t let me be your baby’s godmother and you won’t even invite me to your wedding leave alone being the maid of honour, OH WHY HAVE I SUCH A CURSED FATE!!!!!(internal wailing goes on in that head of hers).” 

And my dear narcissisters, that’s where I’ll have to draw the line before the people around me think she killed my family or something. 

“SHUTTT UPPPP!!!!!! I am not mad at you and I could care less as to which brand we eat, as for my kids and my wedding, we still have a thousand years to wait, so will you please cool it with the “sorrys” and live in peace because you being my best friend wasn’t based on an ice cream brand or any other materialistic reason for that matter and it will suffice to say that I am not leaving you, nor am I depriving you of the “let’s plan everything in ams’ life” Fanclub privileges either. So I will really appreciate it if you didn’t give me migraines every now and then because YOU ARE STUCK WITH ME FOREVER” 


Dear best friend, 

I still love you
A.W. Aka Narcissista 


One Comment Add yours

  1. Sumoreo says:

    I love this stupid thing you wrote about me 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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